Who Is Your Tribe?

The issue of “tribe” seems to be emerging as the next big spiritual issue. “Tribe” is now gaining the same popularity ( and overuse) “mysticism” did a few years ago — and its often used just as inaccurately.One’s “tribe” is not one’s friends — though one’s friends may be part of one’s tribe. It’s not one’s family — though one’s nuclear or extended family may be part of the tribe. It’s not one’s professional association — though members of a professional association (like the AMA, the Bar Association, the National Fire Fighters’ Union, etc.) might be part of the tribe.

The fact is, in today’s modern, technology laden, economically complex, flatland world, the “tribe” has become equally complex. Yet, for the term to have any meaning at all as a spiritual Truth (the focus of which is the first chakra), our modern “tribe” must fulfill the symbolic roles that spiritual Truth demands.

To begin to decipher just who your modern tribe really is, we first have to understand its function, both biologically and spirtitually. The easiest way to do that is to look at a simplified, “generic” tribal structure:

A Generic Tribe

Originally one’s tribe was made up of collections of extended family units. Five, ten, fifteen or more children, parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents (or the equivalent thereof if, as in much of ancient Polynesia, family units as we understand them were not part of the culture) banded together into a single cohesive unit that worked together to insure the health and welfare of all. Women looked after each others’ children; fathers fought and died for each others’ sons and daughters. Leaders made sure all tasks were completed properly; authority figures kept the tribe on track; organizers attended to every detail; and members applied their gifts and talents to the good of the whole.

The idea that a tribal member might go without having their needs met was abhorrent. All gifts that were honored and put to use were entitled to compensation — i.e. tribal support.

This reciprocal relationship between individual members and the tribe as a collective is at the heart of what “tribe” is. The tribe provides the spiritual, physical, and yes even monetary support (in money based societies) structure; in return each member provides their spirtual, physical, and monetary support.

Obviously this is a very simple model of something that, in reality, is far more complex and loaded with human imperfections. The natural, healthy hierarchy of leadership that emerges in any group of humans is sometimes replaced by a dominator hierarchy; members of the tribe have personal issues, or issues with other members that intefere with the needs of the tribe as a whole getting met. Some members’ gifts might not be valued, or be less valued than some others’, giving rise to jealousy and resentment by those members. There seems no end to the morass of very human problems that can and have been experienced in the long history of the tribe.

Tribe in Modern Society

Up until the [tag]industrial revolution[/tag], the tribe grew with our cultures, but the basic model outlined above was still recognizable. In the countryside, where 80% of the population still lived, the country village was each citizen’s tribe, as Rhiannon Ryall so quaintly describes in West Country Wicca. In the cities, clubs and associations played much the same role. One might have to go to an office to work, but tribal loyalty went to the club one spent one’s off work time with.

Then came the industrial revolution, and with it a whole new set of challenges. Radio replaced the village or club for socializing. Families now stayed home, ears glued to the radio; later, TV would take over. The noisy automobile forced houses back from the streets, so it was no longer possible to wave and chat with passers by as they clopped along on their horses or in their carriages. As roads, railways, and eventually air travel increased individual mobility, the extended family slowly gave way to the nuclear family. Then, toward the middle of the [tag]20th century[/tag], even that began to fragment. Not only were the next door neighbors strangers, the person in the next chair, with whom we watched TV every night also became a stranger. It has been estimated that 95% of families spend 80% of their leisure time watching TV. In many homes, the set is on 24 hours a day, seven days a week — a defacto member of the family.

The physically localized social unit fractured; the fragmentation caused divorce rates to rise, and a whole new set of problems to emerge among children.

In the confusion, respect for authority plummeted. And as it dropped, because authoritative systems are an endemic part of all life, the yearning for respect and credibility sky rocketed. Modern society has become, on the one hand, addicted to its ever-growing litany of alphabet soup: credentials, licenses, certifications, and diplomas in its attempt to address that natural yearning for authority, and to replace the word of mouth credibility tribe once provided; while on the other its distaste for those “authoritarian standards” keeps pushing the bar to gain those credentials and diplomas lower and lower. Today half of all high school graduates are functionaly illiterate, according to one survey. And one does not have to read many recently published doctoral theses to find at least one so poorly written it would have received an F in any credible high school composition class.

Where’s The Tribe?

So where’s the tribe in this morass of [tag]modernity[/tag]? Many say it no longer exists because it’s no longer needed. But “tribe” is an [tag]archetypal[/tag] energy that cannot be so easily dismissed. It’s there, though it’s now ignored, actively criticized, or misunderstood — even by experts. The result is the near epidemic rate of mental illnesses such as multiple personality disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, depression, and destructive addictions such as drugs and alcoholism; not to mention family dysfunctions such as the divorce rate, child and spousal abuse. Misunderstanding and ignorance of the tribal archetype is also at root cause for the widespread misanthropic view of authority, because order and structure are two of the primary functions filled by the tribal archetype.

So just where is the tribe? The largest sense of tribe most people can sustain is [tag]national[/tag] identity, that loyalty we feel to flag and country. The fierce pride we feel when we hear the national anthem played; when “our team” wins gold in the Olympics, even though we’ve never met even one member of “the team”. They’re compatriots, one of us, they hold our flag high and stand stock straight as the national anthem is played before millions, so they are “ours”.

But there is a more immediate tribe as well, one that is of more concern to us right now. The immediate tribe is made up of the people you do know, probably fairly intimately. They’re the ones you choose to “hang out with” when you’re not at work (or maybe when you are); they’re the ones you plan parties and outings with; they’re the ones who turn to you for help; and the ones you turn to when you need help at 2 am, because you know they won’t be upset. They’re the ones whose authority and opinions you respect. They provide you a much needed sense of order and structure in today’s crazy, modern world; and in return you provide order and structure to the whole.

It’s probably not a group of people you even chose consciously. Because tribe is an archetype, it must exist in some form or another, easily or uneasily in the current social structure. It may be the extended biological family, it may be a group of friends; it may be co-workers; it may be fellow church, coven, or circle members; it could be folks you share a hobby interest with. It might even be your bar buddies. It is not necessarily your blood kin or your friends or those you may like to think of as your tribe.

In the tribal identification game, actions speak louder than words or fantasies. You might claim your church is your tribe, but if you spend five nights a week at your gaming group and only one day a week with fellow congregants (and that during Sunday service), guess what? Your gaming group is your tribe, not your church group. To double check that, think about who is more likely to call you for help — or who you’re more likely to call. Is it Joe from church or Sally with whom you’ve now attended three gaming conventions?

Reflections In The Mirror

Identifying your tribe is important because your tribe can tell you a lot about yourself. An honest look at your present tribe will tell you how you fit into that tribe and provide a reflection of who you are right now, and where you are in your path work:

Are you the group’s leader?
Are you “a member of the pack,” doing the work, but never taking charge?
Maybe you’re still the learner.
Are you the performer, instantly “on camera” when you’re around your tribe?
Do you always have to be the center of attention? “The bride at every wedding and corpse at every funeral?”
Perhaps you have a profound effect from the background, just because you are who you are.
Maybe you’re the volunteer, always eager to help out.

However you fit in and interact with those that make up your tribe, it is one of the most accurate statements of who you are right now. And if you can be honest with yourself, you can learn a lot about how much you’ve grown, and where you need to grow, by paying attention to how you interact with the other members of your tribe.

The other half of the equation is what your tribe does with itself. Just as your interactions with the people that make up your tribe are important, the primary purpose of your tribe’s existence says a lot about what you consider important and the experiences you seek out. From camping to sewing, from sports to cooking, from the board room to the bedroom; there are no rights or wrongs, no goods and bads; what is important is to note the activity and the sense of purpose you gain from participating in it. Then, and only then, can you make a decision about whether it is an accurate statement of who you are, and who you wish to become.

If you discover you’re conflicted about your tribe, you’re not alone. Now-a-days it’s hardly uncommon to claim as your tribe a group that really isn’t. It’s also not uncommon to feel guilty for spending so much time (and money) engaged in the activities of the tribe, especially if those activities are not considered socially important or acceptable, or if your tribe isn’t supporting you and your work — a problem very common for those in spiritual service outside of traditional religions.

Unfortunately, tribal membership can be neither changed nor transformed if the existence of it isn’t acknowledged in the first place. And once acknowledged, it must then be accepted. To paraphrase a good many teachers: In order to get where you’re going you must first be where you are.

If your tribe is your bar buddies, and membership in that tribe is about to explode your marriage, acknowleding the problem to your spouse is a good first step in both saving the marriage and putting you in a place to begin to step away from that tribe.

Even an acknowledged tribe can become problematic when you’ve outgrown it. You pull away a bit (or they do), become bored, and yet all too often get sucked back in. Habits of word and action snap you right back into the tribal routine. But the incongruence is still there, and gnaws like an itch that can’t be scratched.

This can be a deadly trap for those who take their spiritual growth seriously. Out growing the tribe, leaving them behind and discovering a new tribe, is an essential part of growth. One that takes courage, discipline, and sometimes a willingness to jump into the void, not knowing what’s going to come next. But jump you must, or that tribe will become the concrete that arrests your spiritual development until death finally forces you to move on.

So who is your tribe? What do they say about you? Are they propelling you forward in your evolutionary path, or holding you back?

Dare to look in the mirror they represent.