FAQ
Here are a few of the most Frequently Asked Questions here at Metaphors For Life, plus the questions from the Question & Answer section of our old Grail Cup ezine.
- I’ve tried meditating many times […] it just never worked for me.
- …Who appointed you folks God?
- I seem to have trouble keeping my mind quiet during your meditations.
- Why is it impossible for me to change?
- Are you for or against gay marriage?
- If we’re all God, or all creating our own realities, prayer is a wast [sic] of time.
- I’m offended that you use the word “God†to talk about a Supreme Being….”
- I’m trying to stay clear of my judgements, but everytime I see the news about the carnage in Madrid, Spain, I get so angry!
- Ever since I saw The Passion of the Christ, I’ve been experiencing terrible waves of guilt and sadness….
- You know, the more I follow the news… and this whole business in Iraq the angrier I find myself getting…
- Gay/Jewish/Masons?
- I was reading through the material on your website and noticed you seem to be rather skeptical of New Age.
- Is there ever such a thing as a “healthy fear?’’
- What is marriage?
- Is sex really a path to enlightenment??
- Pay attention, think for yourself, be your own guru.â€We are all gods we just dont know it.â€
- Is there a way not to feel jealousy?
- o tell the you the truth, I see a new nazi rising here in America, and it’s not a nice thought `Rich over poor’, do what we say or die, or worst prison and work camps…
- How can you destroy the self organizing principle and still exist?
- What is the teacher’s responsibility to me? Is it right for me to ask that those responsibilities be spelled out?
- I’m really, really trying to get rid of my judgements, yet my brain just won’t shut up!
- Just saw “What the Bleep Do We Know?’’ and loved it. Did you see it? What did you think?
- I don’t participate in Christmas because it’s a Christian holiday and way too commercial…
- I’ve been working on self-realization for about two years and had the usual challenges, but since my last breakthrough there hasn’t been anything.
There are at least two answers to your question. The first is that any meditative technique’s success depends as much upon the determination of the person using it as it does the technique itself. In other words, if you’re not really commited to using a contemplative art form to effect meaningful and lasting changes in your life, then no form is going to work for you. As I mention in my book and teach in the seminars, using contemplation, meditation or prayer to break through your own resistance and limitations takes the same four things any other discipline does: Training, focus, discipline, and practice. Those four things, applied with diligence and sincerity, will cause you to succeed in any of your endeavors, including contemplative arts.The other answer is that the 7 Mysteries approach to the contemplative arts takes as broad an approach as is humanly possible, because those “sets of 7″ things or steps or traits appear in every culture or historical epoch I’ve examined. If you’re Christian, meditations on the seven deadly sins, heavenly virtues, or the seven-fold path of the Lord’s prayer are for you. If you’re Sufi, there’s Seven Valleys. Jewish Kabballists have the seven layers of the Tree of Life. Hinduism gave us the Seven Chakras.
Not religiously inclined? Okay. Try the Seven Lamps of Architecture, the Seven Planets, or the Seven Colors of the Rainbow. In a silly mood? Check out the analysis of the Seven Dwarves!
There’s something there for everybody, I like to think. If you’re ready, and willing to explore the frontiers of your own spirit, then there’s very little to lose by giving the 7 Mysteries method a fair try.
Q: It says on your website that “you have the power to change [my] life.” Who appointed you folks God?
I just spent several hours looking over our entire website. While I found twelve typos, four actual mispellings, two incorrect homonyms and a broken link (now fixed), I somehow managed to miss my appointment to Deific Status. That’s not a proclamation one should miss, in my opinion. Could you please write me back and tell me on which page you saw it?
Ahem. Seriously. The quote is simply, “The Power To Change Your Life”. I don’t have the power to change your life, only you do. You don’t even need a deific appointment for that. But you might need a bit of guidance now and then, and maybe some support, which is why Metaphors For Life and CNR are here.
Q: I seem to have trouble keeping my mind quiet during your meditations. I do all right with the breathing and even the chakra visualizations, but when I slow the pace into the “deeper awareness” stage I experience random thoughts, memories from a long time ago, emotional reactions from conversations I barely remember having, among other things. Is this normal? Or am I doing something wrong?
Not at all. What you’re experiencing is quite normal. As annoying or frustrating as those random thoughts and feelings can be, they’re a natural result of the internal processes you’re triggering each time you sit down to meditate. Your meditative times function in your psyche (and some say in your body too) like a clean-up operation. It’s somewhat like doing spring cleaning in your home. You always find things you thought you’d lost, some things you don’t recognize, others you don’t know where they might have come from, along with a rather disgusting supply of dirt, grime, and other unmentionables.
During meditation, you can expect the same thing on the mental and emotional levels. Stuff is going to come up, just don’t engage with it. Don’t let it consume your time or thought cycles. You wouldn’t go pawing through the garbage can, after all. Let those seemingly random thoughts, emotions, and memories surface, and then let them fade. If you stick with meditating regularly, you’ll experience this particular phenomenon less and less frequently.
Q: I’ve tried so many self-improvement programs. They just don’t work. Why is it impossible for me to change?
It’s not. Allow me to point out that you already have changed, several times in fact, since your conception and birth. Those whose business it is to study human development have found that we go through anywhere from four to six stages of mental and emotional development, and that development starts the day of our birth. With each break-through in maturation, another level of complexity is gained, another level of “enlightenment,” if you will. The adult human you are today could not, at age 6, have formed the question you asked, for instance. In fact, it’s unlikely the teenager you were at 16 could have thought of it, or articulated it in the same way you just did.
It’s true that development seems to slow tremendously when we reach adulthood, and without assistance it does sometimes seem to stop for long periods of time. But to insist that it means you have never changed, or cannot change, is a mistake in analysis. If you’ve been in one of those long periods of life where nothing seems to change, there are a few things you can try, assuming change or improvement is what you truly desire.
- Join a new club or group that has similar interests.
- If you’re over-commited, drop a few of those groups to give you more time to yourself.
- At least once a day, put on your favorite music CD and sing along at the top of your lungs.
Seem silly? Frivolous? Time-wasting? Perhaps. But these things and others like them contain the seeds of change and new growth. Practiced or attended regularly, you’ll feel the beginnings of something waking up and breaking free inside you. Don’t be afraid to let it take flight.
Q: Are you for or against gay marriage?
Having spent ten years of my life involved in national politics in America (I’ve done my time in the underground hallways of the Capitol), I’ve learned to uninvest, and to see issues for their symbolic importance as a measure of our collective choices, rather than for their literal value in the political marketplace.
It wasn’t too long ago that slavery, and a general attitude of white racial superiority, were status quo not just in America, but all over the world. It wasn’t too long ago that women were chattel, and the institution of marriage (that very same entity those opposing gay marriage want to protect) was essentially the ownership document a man was granted to his wife (caucasian women included). In fact, there are places on this planet where many of those attitudes are still the norm, some legally, some technically illegal, but tolerated.
So when I examine the issue of gay marriage, what I see is the necessary opposite to those issues. On the one hand, the depths of cruelty and intolerance we’re willing to direct toward others of our species has never sunk so low. On the other, in San Francisco and Massachusetts our willingness to stand up and declare a new level of equality among ourselves has never risen to such great heights.
In the end we will, as a collective, fall short of the great height — for a time. But in so doing, we will also have pulled those opposite, and slower to evolve, a bit further up the evolutionary ladder of compassion.
Q: You have [had] prayer requests on your website. If we’re all God, or all creating our own realities, prayer is a wast [sic] of time.
It’s true that prayer in the way many Americans think of it isn’t always the most effective use of time or energy. Prayer was never truly meant to be a Wish List to an ever-bountiful, deific Santa Claus, or the brow-beating sessions which pass for public prayer on some church pulpits. On the other side of it, the notion that our own Godhood nullifies the possibility of any transcendent force or energy is equally naive. Those who’ve trod the contemplative path are united in their insistence that such a transcendent force or energy does exist. The results of their experiments in higher consciousness, if you will, can be replicated by anyone who also chooses to engage in the rigors of the work.
True prayer (which is referenced as orison in my latest book) is an intimate communion with that which transcends our individual selves. The Contemplative Arts are those practices (including orison) which establish and maintain connection with some power or force that transcends the practitioner, and which remains resistant to any mundane form of contact.
Now, given what I’ve said, the question remains: Why pray for anyone? What purpose can it possibly serve? Ralph Waldo Emerson, poet and mystic, once said “Prayer is the contemplation of the facts of life from the highest point of view.” I like to think that when I get a request to pray for someone, they will benefit from my taking a few moments to contemplate their lives for them from the highest point of view I can hold. If they’re asking me to pray for their healing, I meditate upon them as healed beings. If they’re asking for support during tough times, I can stop for a bit and hold them in my heart, knowing that somehow, some way, they will benefit from my concern on their behalf.
Remember always that we’re all interconnected in ways and on levels we can’t possibly begin to sense or understand. The next time someone asks you to pray for them, take a moment to contemplate upon their request from the very highest point of view.
Q:I’m offended that you use the word “God” to talk about a Supreme Being. I honor a Goddess [substitute Allah, Asatru, Devi, Krishna, etc. etc.] […]
Well, I’ve been sort of waiting on this one to rear its head, so I guess it must be time to take it on.
I use the word “God” to denote any kind of universal transcendent force or energy. That ultimate mystery doesn’t have a specific gender. It also embraces both genders. This is a paradoxical truth every mystic knows. I use this term because it’s three letters, one syllable, easy to say, and gives me hardly any chance at all to misspell or mis-speak it. As such, it has nothing to do with a patriarchal entity from the Old Testament except in the minds of those who need to think of it in that way.
Which brings me to the next and more important point: It is beyond time we as spiritually mature adults stopped projecting our fear and rage on God. It’s beyond time that we, as spiritually mature individuals, step up to the plate and take personal responsibility for our emotional and mental realities, and the choices we make regarding them; for the sense of inner separation and loss each one of us feels, consciously or not. It is so beyond time to heal that relationship, and to reclaim our inner union with that Divine Source, with the Beloved, with God.
If you’re still “literalizing” God in a way that needs an entity or a name, feel free to substitute in your own mind the name or image of that deity, as suits you best. For to be sure, it’s All One, and as far as I’ve been able to determine, God doesn’t really care by what name you Call — it’s only important that you call.
Q: I’m trying to stay clear of my judgements, but everytime I see the news about the carnage in Madrid, Spain, I get so angry! How can I stop thinking of them [the terrorists] as “evil?”
I love life’s little synchronicities. My editorial on the Madrid bombing, entitled Evolving the War on Terror was released to the news wires this morning.Anyway, you’re angry, repulsed, and a few other things. So it’s far too late to curb the judgements. I’d highly recommend you simply be what you already are: Angry, repulsed, whatever. Give yourself the grace to enjoy being what you are. It might even be fun to discover how many nasty invectives you can think of to hurl at the *(#@($*% bombers for awhile.
No, I’m really serious here! Once an emotion is in play, it’s in play. That which you resist persists! Fighting your judgements will only insure that they hang around for a good long time. It’s far more productive to dive into them, even have fun with them. Your saboteur (or critic, if you prefer) hates that because it’s just sure you’re not taking it seriously. (One of the few times it might actually be right.)
But, you also have to make a pact with yourself that the whole purpose of the exercise is to empty yourself of the judgements. If you do, if you’re serious about letting go of them, they will lose their power over you and you’ll gain a new, larger perspective on the event.
When you express something you get it out of you, which is the point of “diving in.” Remember, the other half of the above truism is: That which you look at, disappears. In this case, your judgements about those who perpetrated the Madrid Bombing.
Q: Ever since I saw The Passion of the Christ, I’ve been experiencing terrible waves of guilt and sadness. I feel like I’m personally responsible for that suffering, even though in my head I know I’m not. I thought I’d gotten beyond all this. Can you help?
Maybe. I hope so. No one need live in guilt, fear, shame, or any other negative emotion. The trick here is to know what they’re for, and how to process them.
Michael talked about this in the last question, a bit. First, you have to let yourself feel that guilt and sadness without censoring them or acting on them. Just feel them. Cry if you need it, vent, pray — no one faith tradition “owns” prayer, so go ahead and let all that out in a conversation with whatever transcendent forces are listening. You have to go through the process, emptying yourself of the intensity and force of the emotions until you are at peace.
Then, and only then, might you apply intellect, reasoning, rationality to what you are experiencing. Then and only then is it appropriate to remember the universal truth that no one person can really die for the supposed sins of another. You can remind yourself that the crucifixion is best taken as a symbolic representation of the sacrifice every one of us must make if we are to become spiritually mature. You can remember that the tales of that event were written decades after it happened, and that we have no historical evidence or written records from that time that would indicate this actually occurred. This doesn’t take anything away from the power of the symbolism, but it does give you the detachment you need in order to use that symbol (and others like it) for your growth.
Logic and rationality are necessary parts of the growth process. So is valuing your emotions and letting yourself experience them without judgement. Together, they can show you the wounds you’ve been hiding from yourself that actually caused that grief and guilt to emerge. What’s more, they can also help you heal those wounds.
Finally, if this hasn’t worn off or resolved itself in a month or so, get professional help, spiritual or secular. Many persons have reported symptoms that sound very much like Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder in the aftermath of seeing Gibson’s latest gore-fest. Sometimes we all need a little expert help to get us over the rough spots, and from what I understand, for some The Passion of the Christ has turned out to be rough indeed.
Q:You know, the more I follow the news… and this whole business in Iraq the angrier I find myself getting…
Sorry for the foreshortening there, but your core question is valid and probably shared by a great many, each for reasons of their own.
I have written twice about Iraq in the articles Necessary Evil and Evolving The War On Terror (both are on the website), so rather than addressing this from those angles again here, lets take a brief look at anger.
We usually think of anger as a “bad” emotion. Our images and visions of the great historical masters like Jesus and Buddha always depict serene figures that seem totally devoid any emotion other than some transcendental form of love. Even most New Age “gurus,” while paying lip service to the validity of the full range of human emotions, make it quite clear that the so called “negative” emotions “don’t serve us.”
All of which puts us in an unhealthy quandary: I know I shouldn’t feel angry, but I do!
In its healthy form, anger simply shows us what’s important to us. That, in and of itself, is no more good or bad than the average firearm. It’s what happens next — what’s done with the emotion, that’s important.
Alesia and I both have written recently about how to process emotions. Anger is no different and should be processed in exactly the same way. But since anger tells us what’s important to us, once the processing is finished, once it’s been fully expressed, a bit of analysis is often required:
Why did you get angry in the first place? The reason is neither good nor bad, but it is important. It may point to a part of your character you decide you need to change, or it may point to a social issue or political policy you disagree with.
What do you do about it? Do you need to do some more internal work to remove the trigger? Do you need to vote a certain way in the next election? Do you need to take a more pro-active role in some organization or cause? Do you need to change your job or career?
How does the big picture look? Anger is one of our most powerful emotions, and can be potent motivator. It’s important to step back and gain perspective. Remember that, in the grand scheme of things, the only reason the Universe exists is to experience itself. And it can’t do that without both the bad and the good, the holy and horrible, the profound and profane.
Therefore, in the final analysis, all things are necessary, the horrors in Iraq and elsewhere included. We do not have to like them, and in fact may grieve over them, but we do have to learn to bless them.
Q:Your website uses the rainbow colors/Star of David/Solomon’s Seal. Are you Gay/Jewish/Masons?
The questions and feedback we get are always interesting. These three queries came in within a month of one another — since there’s no such thing as coincidence, I’ve lumped them together because in all three cases the answer is the same.
We’ve chose the background for our website because the rainbow colors were symbolic of the 7 Mysteries material. You may recall the symbolic analysis of the 7 Rainbow colors that appeared in an earlier issue of The Grail Cup, for instance. In addition, a rainbow sequence has come to symbolize tolerance and diversity, two qualities in short supply on this dizzy globe, and which we like to promote.
The background also features six-pointed stars. Though perhaps most widely associated with the Jewish faith, that symbol in fact pre-dates Judaism by perhaps one thousand years. It’s also known as Solomon’s Seal, and in Hinduism relates to the fourth chakra. It’s composed of two triangles, one pointing upward, the other downward. The upward pointing triangle represents our striving for God; the downward pointing one symbolizes God’s reaching toward us. In the center, where they intersect, is sacred space, holy space — a timeless eternity of reunion and bliss.
Taken in total, this choice of background for our site was perfect (credit for it goes to Crystal Cloud Graphics) for what MFL is and who Michael and I are as mystics.
Gay/Jewish/Masons? Well, not this lifetime. But in the next? You never know!
Q:I was reading through the material on your website and noticed you seem to be rather skeptical of New Age.
I don’t know that “skeptical” is the adjective I would have chosen: Alesia and I both are energy healers. Alesia also works with crystals and is the best cartomancer I’ve ever seen. The New Age has much to offer the working mystic in his or her practical day to day work in the world.That said, we also point out the dangers. Like every other religion, those wonderful tools can become a mine field of distractions from the primary goal of the mystic: Union with the Beloved. Alesia and I believe one of the best services we can offer the modern/contemporary mystical community (and those who want to join it) is to point out those distractions. We often do it in fairly uncompromising language because it’s the only way we can be heard over the constant din of modern life. If that makes us appear harsh at times, we’re in the good company of our modern and historical colleagues — and probably for the same reasons.
Q:Is there ever such a thing as a “healthy fear?”
Sure there is. That clenching feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you turn to see that on-coming semi-truck in your lane, for instance, is a very healthy fear: It helps keep you alive!Remember that fear is actually a “natural emotion,” i.e., an emotion that is a natural and healthy expression of the human condition. Properly expressed, moved through without impedence, it is an essential part of life in a skin suit. Fear that is blocked, repressed, denied, or deemed “inappropriate” by any authority figure (including parents most especially) becomes either panic (short term), or neurosis (longer term).
By and large, I like to say it isn’t fear that is unnatural, it’s how we as human beings sometimes respond to it. If we allow our non-survival-based fears to cause us to shut down, to pull away, to close off, to limit somehow our possibilities, we’re cheating ourselves. Once we allow that to happen, we’re no longer living our lives in the fullest, most joyous way we know how. In fact, when our responses to our fears begin to rule our lives, it’s likely that we no longer have a life, but are really, unconsciously waiting for death.
Take a few moments to inventory your fears. Decide whether they are truly “survival” fears, or whether they’re in danger of becoming neuroses. Think about whether you really want to limit your life (thereby resigning yourself to death) by letting those fears rule your thoughts, words, and actions. If you choose not to let such fears rule your life from this moment forward, just be forewarned: God will definitely present you with situations that give you every opportunity to back up that decision with choices and actions!
Joseph Campbell once wrote: “Marriage isn’t a love affair, it’s an ordeal. It is a religious exercise, a sacrament, the grace of participating in another life.” One of the most succinct definitions of marriage I’ve ever heard, because the implications are so profound. But to begin to understand it, you have to remove the negative implications now associated with the noun “ordeal”. An ordeal can be engaged in love just as readily as it can be endured grudgingly. And in a marriage the former is much more appropriate than the latter.
Marriage differs from a mere love relationship or even a “significant other,” live-in relationship in that it’s a sacred contract, entered into by the parties, to participate in the other’s (or others’, if more than two) growth process, day to day, sometimes moment to moment, however that growth process manifests: Illness, grumpiness, stoic silence, bad temper, what ever. Rarely do mere lovers ever see our bad hair days; live-in relationships often end the moment the going gets too tough — when it’s no longer fun or when the sex isn’t hot anymore. It’s at that point that the uniqueness and sacredness of marriage begins to shine.
In a marriage your partner(s) become the roughing stone(s) you use to grind away the illusions in your life. Sometimes that process isn’t pretty. Sometimes the only thing holding the partners together is the strength of the marriage itself. Most of the time it’s so wonderful it’s hard to put into words.
A healthy marriage is one of the quickest paths to divine experience. Unfortunately, like most things divine, it has been co-opted by both religion and politics for so long, few people today understand it. They therefore completely miss the wonder and beauty possible through marriage.
In addition to what Michael said, I’d add that the marriage is an energetic construct that draws upon the energies of the partners involved. As such, it is as healthy or unhealthy as the partners themselves. It is an actual entity that comes into existence, usually during or after the wedding ritual, and develops a kind of consciousness of its own as the marriage progresses. It transcends the limitations of the individual partners, becoming more than the mere sum of their parts, adding something new and unexpected to the partnership that is not present in any of the partners alone.
All energy is capable of manifesting itself in the physical plane, and the energies of marriage are no different. Sometimes this consciousness manifests in a literal way, as physical children. In other marriages it manifest less obviously, in artistic or literary pursuits or perhaps in a successful business.
Those who are sensitive to such things can perceive the presence of the marriage entity, most especially when all partners are present. I find it helpful in counseling wedded couples (or triads, or whatever) to treat the marriage as an actual personality in the room, and to help the partners come to regard their marriage in this way. When the partners begin to understand their marriage as a consciousness that transcends and includes them, they also begin to realize that the sacrifices necessary in any marriage are not to the other partner(s) as individuals, but to the marriage itself. It truly makes their (sometimes rocky) transition into the marriage something noble and honorable — traits almost everyone enjoys developing.
It’s also one of the reasons why divorce is so horrible, even the most amicable ones. The partners are pulling their energies out of the marriage construct, and the death throes are painful for all involved. Reason enough to be very, very careful whom you choose to marry, and to remain mindful of what is being created in the act.
Q: Is sex really a path to enlightenment??
A million Tantrics can’t be wrong, can they?
Seriously, humans are capable of spontaneously performing few other acts which rival sexual intercourse for sheer displays of power. Even untrained, human beings can and do experience states of heightened awareness during love making, and the search for these experiences takes many persons into more ritualized forms of power exchange (bondage and domination/submission, among others). Alternatively (or perhaps sequentially), they find their way into the realms we generically term “sacred sexuality,” where the search for that transcendent awareness is wrapped in disciplines of breathing, muscle control, and energy play. In both cases, I think, the practitioner is responding to an innate understanding of the true meanings of sexual intercourse, which recur across cultures and are manifested through symbol.
As a mystic, I’ve come to understand that any true path can be a path to enlightenment, and that definitely includes sex. With training, focus, discipline, and practice, you learn to let the self-contraction of the ego drop away, leaving your true essence free to unfold into the vastness of All That Is, effortless and free, tasting once again the nectar of the breath of the Beloved, mirrored for you in the likeness of your lover’s body…
Fortunately, the modern Information Age affords everyone maximum access to texts once considered arcane and sacred. Every book store has a section of books on Tantra or sacred sexuality by a plethora of authors. If you’re interested in sexuality as a path of personal empowerment, please do check into the vast array of information available on the web and at your local corner bookstore.
Q: Ciao Rev Mike. Its good stuff. Keep it coming. Pay attention, think for yourself, be your own guru.”We are all gods we just dont know it.” — Joseph Campbell (Note: This was sent by a subscriber to the [(now defunct)]Defining Authenticity email seminar.)
Thank you for the kudos. I’m glad you’re enjoying the series.I happen to be a fan of Dr. Campbell too, but would warn against mis-interpretation of the quote you chose. It is more often the voice of god “on the back of the elephant” (to borrow from an old Hindu adage) that we need to pay attention to than the voice of god in our head, which is often merely ego. Or worse, to start running around thinking we’re better than everyone else because we’re God. (Also an ego trap.)
It takes a great deal of training and experience, often under the tutelage of a teacher, to separate the voice of ego from the voice of intuition (aka our god-self). This is why the mirror effect, observing those deficiencies we’re trying to work our way through in others (the voice of god on the back of the elephant), is so important. It’s much easier to notice, and the ego really has to work at corrupting the message.
Something to remember the next time someone really gets on your last nerve.
Q:“i dont like being jelous. is there a way not to feel jelousy” [Note: We do try to present these questions as we receive them, spelling and grammatical errors intact.]
Sure. But I’m not going to promise you it’s easy. In point of fact, it’s a hell of a lot of work. (But then, all real growth does entail a lot of unromantic work, I’ve noticed.)I’ve said it in this column before: That which you resist, persists. And yet, in our society we think the way to defeat an emotional response pattern (like jealousy) is to “fight it to the death.” A tactic that causes no end of problems, both psychologically and physcially.
The only way to defeat a pattern like jealousy is to accept it, rather than fighting it. That’s counter intuitive, I know, but believe me it works!
If you’re feeling jealous it’s too late to not feel jealous. The emotion is already there. It’s got you. The way to get rid of it is to simply be jealous. Feel it, experience it deeply and fully; note its nuances and `flavors’. The more fully you surrender to the feeling the faster it will pass through you system and lose power.
Now, I’m not suggesting you engage in unhealthy relationship behaviors while doing this. You don’t need to fight with your partner, play the blame game, or any of that. Go off somewhere by yourself if you need to. Scream and rage at the trees, or the mountains, or the corn field. It won’t care.
The important thing is to express that emotion until it isn’t there anymore. And if you’ve been playing the repression game, this can take a while. You might have to go off an scream and rage at the poor trees several times over the next month or so.
But eventually, you’ll get to the end. There simply won’t be any more jealousy to feel. That’s when you can start talking to yourself about making different choices where jealousy in concerned.
So many people want to jump to that second step without doing the first. Or they want to hurry through the first so they can get to the second. I suppose it’s all part of our instant gratification society. But in this case, it not only doesn’t work, it can be down right dangerous. The emotions that get repressed in order to trick yourself into thinking you’ve completed the first step always come back to haunt you: As stronger forms of the emotion, as depression, as psychosis, as a physical ailment, as a combination of the above.
So make sure, really sure you’ve fully expressed those emotions before you try making a new choice. And then, when you slip up (and you will), and that old jealousy rears its ugly head again, go back to step one. Then forgive yourself and promise to do better next time.
Q:“Dear Michael — Man, I’ve just read Necessary Evil, and I couldn’t agree more, as I sit in my cage for a crime I didn’t commit. I sit and wonder what the hell is going on in America, and what kind of world will be waiting for me upon my release. To tell the you the truth, I see a new nazi rising here in America, and it’s not a nice thought `Rich over poor’, do what we say or die, or worst prison and work camps. . . .” [Note: We received this in postal mail and have reprinted only a small portion of the entire hand written letter. Punctuation, spelling, and grammar are the writer’s.]
The tendency to polarize as a response to perceived polarization is quite common. Doomsday scenarios, conspiracy theories, secret government plots (it doesn’t matter which government), and a belief in contrived media bias are all part and parcel of the same negative, polarized mind-set. And that some of these things have happened — there have been secret government plots, and there are media outlets that are unabashedly biased, to give but two examples — simply fuels the fire.Which is why I cautioned against caving to the coming `darkness’ in the above mentioned article. The last paragraph in that article reads:
So, as the light temporarily dims into blackness and gloom; look for the “angels,” follow the lights you see in the darkness. They are here to be our guides through this difficult time. They will lead us back into the light, to compassion, to love, to the ultimate truth we are all struggling to realize: That All Is One, and we — each of us — are that One.
Mahatma Ghandi once said that evil can never win. Oh, it might win a few battles. Dark times may come, but they never last forever. The light will shine again. Ghandi understood that evolution is a one way street. There are side roads, some of which lead back to the last entrance/exit, but long term, we will always end up ahead of where we last stumbled.
And the easiest way to get ahead is to not fall short to begin with. The more people who refuse to polarize; the more people who refuse to lapse into judgment; the more people who refuse to give into despair; the more people who remain positive, inclusive, and non-reactionary, the sooner we will see the first world countries return to a compassionate, world-centric path.
If this seems counter-intuitive, remember: Four thousand people lowered the crime rate in Washinton D.C. by 25% simply by praying for it to happen. The precise percentage of reduction predicted by quantum physicists before the prayer meeting happened. Our individual thoughts and actions do matter. They matter a great deal!
Oh, that’s so deceptive! If it were true that the ego was merely a “self-organizing principle” we wouldn’t have problems with self-esteem, would we? If it were merely a mechanism in the human psyche, would there be crimes commited out of arrogance? Pride? Power-mongering? Selfishness? Brutality?
Ego does play an important role in our lives. As the questioner suggests, without an ego we wouldn’t, couldn’t exist here. The capacity for “ego” permits us to have and remember a string of distinct experiences in any given lifetime. The trouble with ego is that it too easily rages out of control and begins to believe that its experience is the only experience It feels that the rest of world must cater to its whims. It begins to believe, indeed to insist that it is all that is, that there is nothing outside itself to which it is responsive or responsible. It thereby becomes a monster that consumes without conscience. Such diseased and distorted egos need much healing before they can be integrated into a balanced way of life.
The point to self-transcendence is to grow beyond ego-domination, but it’s a mistake to assume that means the ego is annhilated. It’s cleansed, purified, healed, and integrated into a higher form of being — a form of being that is not subservient to the ego and its childish whims. This beingness is responsive to motives and ideas that aren’t accessible to ego; this beingness is motivated by the Love of God alone.
And, when it’s no longer needed, like the body ego is dropped so that we can return to the Oneness and Wholeness that is the truth of us.
Q: In a previous issue [of The Grail Cup] you answered a question about how a teacher (or spiritual mentor) can really help with my process. But what is the teacher’s responsibility to me? Is it right for me to ask that those responsibilities be spelled out?
I would hope that by the time you were ready to place yourself under someone’s tutelage such questions will have been thoroughly answered to your satisfaction — whether they’re ever written out in a formal contract or not!That said, beware trying to get blow-by-blow details out of any teacher. Remember, your prospective teacher doesn’t know you any better than you know him or her. So while they can (and should be able to) explain in general what methods they use, asking for specifics is unfair to both of you.
Too, if you’re asking this teacher to guide you through the process of self mastery to Union, you’re asking for highly individualized training that, of necessity, varies from person to person. What pricked Sally’s ego might not prick John’s. The laid back approach that’s perfect for Mary might not work at all with Bill, whose immaturity requires teacher to apply an almost parental level of discipline. Then there’s Jack, who’s not interested in enlightenment at all. He simply wants to learn to have a better life, so teacher’s tack with Jack seems almost carefree compared to the life changing approaches used with the student mystics.
In each case, even though the methods are individualized, teacher is doing everything s/he can to push each student to that next step on the path toward achieving their ultimate goal, because that is a teacher’s primary responsibility, whether it’s written down or not.
Q: I’m really, really trying to get rid of my judgements, yet my brain just won’t shut up! It seems like I’ve got a #@%$#&# opinion about everything — especially me!
Accept my congratulations for at least making the attempt to grow beyond your judgements. That’s a step only a minority have chosen to take, and as you’re discovering, it’s very difficult.
Although you seem to know what judgement is, let’s take a moment and define the term. Judgement is a morally charged valuation made about some person, place, or process. It differs from “discernment” in that there is an emotional investment involved. A discernment is a detached, dispassionate, objective observation. We’re actually meant to develop discernment; judgement, on the other hand, is a type of “black hole” habit that can suck the energy or life force out of you without you knowing it.
I would suggest that you might start by narrowing your approach. Rather than trying to stop all your judgements, pick a category on which you can focus. For instance, “I’m not going to sit in moral judgement of what I see/hear on the news today” or perhaps “I will not judge my co-workers today” or even “I’m not going to be so harsh with myself for my judgements, today.” By choosing one narrow area on which to concentrate, you assist yourself in developing the discipline with which you can engage the rest of your judgemental attitudes.
It also helps if you “personify” that criticizing, judgemental voice that is so harsh and righteous. Give it a name or a label, and begin engaging it as a separate part of yourself. It’s still you, and you must accept that always, but by developing a relationship with that distinct part of yourself, you can learn ways to defuse that voice before it ever gets going inside your mind.
Lastly, try keeping a “Judgement Journal.” Carry a little notebook around with you throughout the day and write down every judgement that flits through your head or even passes over your lips. At the end of the day, take a few moments and go over that list, and turn each judgement into either a simple discernment, or a statement made from compassion. This kind of “after the fact” practice is especially helpful for those judgements that you tend to repeat day after day.
If difficulties persist, seek out a professional to help you. A qualified counselor, mentor, or teacher can certainly assist you in finding other ways to rein in your need to judge yourself and others. Good luck!
Q: Just saw “What the Bleep Do We Know?” and loved it. Did you see it? What did you think?
For those of our readers who may not know, “What the Bleep Do We Know?” is a very `outside the Hollywood box’ kind of film. It stars Marlee Matlin (Children of a Lesser God) as a divorced, anxiety-ridden photographer in the process of `waking up.’ The film uses commentary from many experts in the fields of quantum physics and spirituality, interspersed with a richly visual plot and wonderful computer animations, to show in a very accessible way what mystics have known all along: That it all really is one, and that the basic underpinnings of our experiences of reality are created by each and every one of us, every day.
To sum up my thoughts and feelings on the film: Wow.
I didn’t find much new in the film itself, but I truly appreciated how it handled complex and arcane subjects like emotional addiction and neural nets and evolutionary progression, and made it all very easy to understand and wholly accessible. It was fast-paced; I found that if I allowed my thoughts to drift off to process one point, I would very likely miss the next one (which is one reason I saw it three times).
Lest anyone think this is a dull, dry, lecture-hall type film, perish the thought! Humor weaves through the scenes and commentary like gilded threads through fine linen. For one example among many, the computer animation parody of the old ’80’s standard “Addicted to Love.” (Anyone else out there remember Robert Palmer?) The lead singer and his poker-faced background band are hilarious as hormonal blobs belting out a pelvis-grinding, dance-floor classic, and the whole scene outlines in painfully funny stereotypes just how we all interact to feed and fulfill each others’ emotional addictions.
I have recommended this film to everyone I know, and I’ll go on doing so. I understand that the DVD version is due out in March, and I hope this movie will be a “must have” in every Grail Tippler’s collection. In the meantime visit www.whatthebleep.com to share much more about the movie and its reviews, and to learn more about where it’s showing and the effects it’s already having on our society.
Q:I don’t participate in Christmas because it’s a Christian holiday and way too commercial [ . . . ]
One of my favorite holiday movies is the old black and white edition of A Miracle On 34th Street. Made back in the fifties, even then commercialism seemed to be everybody’s favorite thing to complain about.And now-a-days, with Christianity begining to lose its iron clad grip on Western civilization, opting out of Christmas has become quite popular among pagans — especially activist pagans. Unfortunately, it often seems to be more a protest against something Christian than a celebration of the ideals the Christians brought forward into Christmas from the old pagan festival of Yule.
So I hope you’re a celebrator of Yule, rather than just a protester against Christmas. Here at MFL we actually do both: We have a (primarily pagan) Yule feast on (or near) Solstice each year (depending on our friends’ and families work schedules), and then Christmas with our Christian family.
After all, Jesus had a lot in common with old Father Frost. And, as Santa would no doubt point out: It’s the spirit of the season that the important thing, not who owns it.
Ask yourself some questions: Are you still attentive and making choices based on your new breakthroughs, or have you fallen back into old habits of thinking/being/doing? Other than being anxious, do you really feel okay, or has your ego tricked you into believing things are okay when they’re really not? Is this a matter of boredom and impatience, or is the anxiety preventing you from seeing where the real work is?
If you answered “yes” to all the above, then enjoy the breather! Sometimes the only work there is to do is that of learning gratitude and giving ourselves the grace to have a good time.
